Two Sides To Every Story

A friend that was divorced years ago told me that when her ex was found to have a girlfriend, she was only mildly surprised. Not because he was typically that way, not because all men are liars, but because she knew in her heart she had not put any effort into their relationship for years and he had been trying and trying and begging for her attention and affection. And although the right thing to do was to be upfront and separate as husband and wife, he cheated, got caught and paid the price.

“But maybe it didn’t have to happen at all,” she said, “if we’d have kept all the other promises we made to each other the day we got married.”

Ron Ciancutti is the Purchasing Manager for Cleveland Metroparks. He is not on Facebook, but he can be reached at rdc@clevelandmetroparks.com.

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4 comments on “Two Sides To Every Story

  1. I’m coming up on 15 years now and the only thing I know for sure is that a good marriage requires work. If both spouses aren’t willing to work at it then it isn’t going to survive.

    I’d like more affection once in a while. My stay-at-home (with two young children) wife would like more rest once in a while. Instead of dwelling on the times when I’m not getting the attention though we make sure to take full advantage of the times when that attention is possible and that really does help keep the embers warm in the relationship.

    I think you could get some angry female pushback on this one Ron but I don’t disagree with you. And, if you look at society, we treat the cheating man much more differently than we treat the cheating woman. And, we almost ignore the women who are the other half of the affairs with married men. There is certainly a double standard in play.

  2. Bernie Rangel on said:

    I was married to a wonderful woman for 34 years she passed away 5 years ago. Yes we worked hard at it and it worked. Now I’m engaged to a woman that was married for 20 plus years to a man that was unfaithful to her from the get go but she thought she could change him. She’s been divorced for 3 years. And the first thing we talked about when we finally went out was TRUST. My question is was there something (her) from their get go that happened and that I’m not aware of? What I know is she has a good job, goes to church, and raised great kids. So is there another side?

  3. Cheryl Plankey on said:

    Actually I think there are three sides to every story, if only there was “a fly on the wall” that could talk…

  4. Roz Brown on said:

    I have never met my biological father but like Arnold, he had several children with his wife, and at least two others, myself included with someone else’s wives. At least Arnold supports his love children. My father does not even acknowledge my existence. Nonetheless I feel I chose him and my mother for the DNA that makes me who I am and what I am. I have done amazing things with my life, and made significant contributions to the world. I do not throw stones at these men because I owe my existence to a man with similar behavior. While my father lacks the fame, wealth, and power of these celebrities and political figures, he had more wealth, power, and charisma than the other red neck men in his one horse town. Women like my mother fed his ego and he fed her and her other children. Everyone except his wife got something out of it that they wanted, even if they did underestimate the price. My fathers wife sent him out in the middle of a storm to,”go collect the rent” My mother’s husband was out doing his thing, and left the pantry empty and the rent unpaid. i tell the simple version of my story as, “My father was the land lord and I was the rent.” I know my mother’s husband was no innocent by-stander, and from what I understand my biological fathers wife was cold, nagging, and shrewish. If she had just shown a little more compassion for my mother, maybe he would have been happy to stay home with her. Anyway I am no saint either, nor would I want to be. Except for my father’s wife, all of the other adults involved were all guilty of the same things; having sex for pleasure without taking adequate precautions. I came of age during the sexual revolution and never intended to only have one partner my whole life. Luckily I lived to tell the tale of my own indiscretions. Many of my generation did not, and they’re no less moral, just less fortunate. My main reason for commenting at all is to make the point that all of the finger pointing scandal mongers should take note of their own flaws, and trust me they have as many or more than everyone they enjoy throwing stones at, and very likely fewer virtues. Come on who wouldn’t want to do Arnold or Bill or the others if they had the opportunity? It really is a private matter between the individuals involved and i’m sorry but puritanical hypocrisy always offends me more than breeches of monogamy and fidelity. Many wonderful people do not practice either of these, nor do they claim to or want to and i am very fond of them.

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