The Burden Of Manners

I was in the moderator’s role in a two-person business negotiation the other day and the discussion got pretty heated. Without directly quoting the parties involved, I can tell you the exchange got so testy that the room was downright uncomfortable. It’s hard to bite your tongue and be polite when things get heated. Then one party decided to cross the line–he made it personal. As if that violation of good taste wasn’t enough, he went on to almost mock the other …

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4 comments on “The Burden Of Manners

  1. Vern Fowler on said:

    After 42 years of marriage to the same lady, you bet your advise has been practiced! Along with “Yes Sir” and “No Ma’am” teaching your kids “I Love You” is not a bad habit, either.
    :)

  2. Amy Musser on said:

    It’s so hard…and sometimes very disheartening to watch these people get ahead when decent people are ignored or left behind.

  3. Randy on said:

    Ron, you have hit upon a conundrum that can reach from a small conference room incident in Cleveland to a multi-national peace conference in a capitol city. Those brusque, ill-mannered people make more noise and cause more dissension, thus think they can get their point across, get their own way, win the prize for their side…while the well-mannered people with civilized upbringing hold their tongue and think they can win the day with kindness. This is a noble effort but history has proven that appeasing a tyrant with kind words and concessions is normally returned with treachery, deception and a knife in the back. Unfortunately, the bully on the playground will continue to bully until someone stands their ground and makes them understand reason…in civil terms if possible, but in more assertive ways if needed. I think there is a middle ground, where the civilized can act civil, but must back it up with the kind of strength and force that is the only thing the uncivilized understand.

  4. Kevin on said:

    Sounds very Canadian! :-)

    But seriously, that’s good advice. I too have felt like a doormat far too often and I will try the silence approach next time.

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